My third pregnancy was turning out to be a surprise in more than one way. After finding out we were having twins we scheduled an appointment with the most advanced ultrasound machine in town and a tech with experience in twins.
We took Lily with us because she begged us to go while Ehren went ahead on to preschool. Brandon and I had been throwing around the idea of finding out the sexes. He was fine not finding out when there was only one baby but felt strongly that with twins he wanted to be prepared. I gave in and decided twins would be enough adventure and it would make naming the kids easier if we found out what they were.
At the time we were hoping for g/g or b/g combo because I really wanted another sweet little girl and felt that Lily should have a sister.
When the technician looked at the babies she was checking for chorinicity. She also was looking at anatomy. She spent a lot of time on the placenta and the membrane. She told us that the babies were sharing a placenta and outer sac and asked if we wanted to know the sex and we said yes. She waved the wand around one baby and immediately we knew we were having boys. Both babies were approximately the same size at 17 weeks but they were already different just a week later. I asked her if the difference was a concern for .... I didn't even have to say TTTS because she knew what I was asking and told us that yes, it was a concern. My heart sank. Here I was pregnant with boy babies that were going to be high risk and may not even survive.
I was strangely mad at the babies for messing up all my home waterbirth plans. Then I would feel bad about feeling negative towards the babies. Lily told me she was upset that night and cried because she wasn't going to have a sister. I sympathized so much. Brandon told me that God knew what he was doing and he gave us these babies to teach us lessons we need to learn... Namely learn how dependent we need to be and how we need to accept his plans instead do focusing so much on our plans. He thought I was a birth snob (which I probably was) and that having to go back to OB care was to knock my pride down a notch.
I wallowed in self pity for a while and then decided to spend my time making a new plan and researching instead of worrying.
I needed to make lots of decisions quickly as to what doctor I would use for my care. I asked around and tried to read reviews and research. I decided to go with a doctor that was in the same group as Dr. Rice who said on her online info that she very seldom misses a client's birth. The main concern I had was that I would work hard to establish a relationship with a doctor only to have some random person attend my birth and wind up with another traumatic birth. Another plus was that she was Catholic and had worked in Guatemala which indicated to me that she understood what women were capable and likely respected natural birth and NFP but was qualified to be more interventive if the need arose.
I set up an interview with Dr Anna Damian for the next week. I suppose interviews are not really popular because when I got there the office staff wanted me to start paying when I hadn't even made a decision yet. I had a notebook with my concerns and my birth plans all ready to discuss with her. She seemed competent and caring and listened to my concerns and told me that there was nothing to be afraid of. I think she must come across moms who are scared of birth... I was scared of doctors! Birth was not my concern at all. She seemed supportive of natural vaginal birth as long as baby A was vertex. I thought she seemed reasonable and that I could work with her. I told the office that I wanted to have her for my care and scheduled an appointment to see her in two weeks. In the meantime she referred me to a maternal fetal medicine specialist group that sent a member to College Station from Houston every Friday.
Although so much was still in the air, I started to feel better about our situation now that I could have a little bit of a plan.
Links to the detailed story:
Ultrasound reveals all (Part 1)
High risk here we come (Part 2)
Houston Perinatal Consultants (Part 3)
Texas Fetal Center (Part 4)
The Final Stretch (Part 5)
Jesse and Max's Birth Story (Part 6)